The Cute Bunny

I would like to call God by a diffreent name than just God, because I want to talk about Him in this post but just saying, "me and God had a heated conversation" or something like that doesn't make this Person really seem like a person. I don't know if I really want to say, "me and Jesus had a heated conversation" either, that just sounds wrong. I can't really think of a good name for the collective summation of God, I don't know what to do! There is no title that rings true for my purposes. Maybe I will refer to Him as "the Tao" just to tease Him. So today I asked "the Tao" or more appropriately for this particular title, I sought unity with the Tao because my rhythm was out of sync with nature and the river-like natural path of the Tao made itself known to me. I now realize this may be confusing so I will translate: today I had a heated conversation with God, and asked Him to show himself to me. Almost daily I pray for God to give me examples to follow. Like people who are wise and happy and have happy family lives and actually know Jesus well enough to discern His quietness. I can't imagine having a more thoughtful and sincere example than my friend Nissa. This I realized anew this morning while listening to her excitedly divulge to me what she had learned from reading C.S. Lewis and how it helped her see how to love God more. While this blessing is far greater than anything I can imagine, I left her house and continued my day frustrated at the disconnect I was feeling between God and me.
So as I was walking around in the student park, I prayed, "you know God, I sure wouldn't mind just listening to You do the talking right now." Later, as a cute little bunny became so offended by my presence that he didn't care that he made a scene in exiting the viscinity, I thought of how I would have liked to watch the bunny and enjoy its cuteness for awhile. It seems that every time I ask God to show Himself to me lately, something like this is brought to my attention. A bunny running away is hardly a sign from God, but it made me think about how good things hide themselves. I am reminded of the importance of me seeking God. Seeking Him as if He were running away or withholding something from me until He knew I was really listening, and running full speed after Him. Until I have waited as long as one might wait by a foxhole. This may seem sort of backwards (at least I am used to the Hound of Heaven way of looking at God, "I fled Him down the nights and down the days") but I think the expereiences we have with God are quite new at every turn and with every person and maybe even seem to vary to the point of uneasiness when comparing stories and giving advice to others based our own experiences. At any rate, in the midst of all this running away, God still manages to be exquisitely good to me.