Let's Go Get Coffee

You know that perennial saying “don’t go to bed angry?” It’s such a great policy among argumentative couples (every couple).  It ensures that understanding is reached before the sun goes down where you might otherwise spend a restless night imploding inside knowing your bedmate didn’t really get what you were trying to say.  You may already see where I’m going with this considering what everyone’s week has been like.  But today it dawned on me that this YEAR on facebook has been a long drawn out scenario of “going to bed angry”  that shows no signs of winding down, but instead shows signs of ramping up.

                I have no intention of defending my political preferences here today because I now realize that would just add fuel to an argument that cannot be resolved on this platform.  My intention is to share what I’ve learned this week and offer my ideas for moving forward in a positive way.

I learned this week that I have A LOT of good friends who throw heavy support to a candidate I do not support.  I don’t know if past elections have been like this; I hear from others that it’s the most divisive one on record.  I’ve heard things, read things on people’s windshields, seen news videos of snippet-style arguments and of course there are the facebook articles.  I myself posted a facebook article recently that supported my political views and I very quickly learned that every time I do that, it enrages many of my friends. 

Nearing the end of this week, I feel like the current mood is that people don’t realize we all have friends on the other side.  Even though we all know it's true, that's not how our actions and impulses are playing out, including mine (it has been hard not to react defensively when I see a meme that brands me).  Today I think it’s finally sinking in that I am a more balanced person because I have close friends and family who differ in this way.  It has helped me walk away from a lot of things I could’ve said, because I know there is a good friend out there that it would hurt.  Those other supporters don’t live on another planet or in another universe, I tell myself.  They live next door.  Some are family. 

So my solution is to talk to them.  Actually my idea is to go get coffee and talk to them (cause that would involve going and getting coffee).  I now am starting to understand that both sides of this thing are deeply invested.  Many are very afraid now.  And we all have seen a political opinion blur into a moral opinion with everyone differing on where that moral line should firmly be. 

Instead of blasting fear, negativity and yes, unrelenting divisiveness into the space continuum, I challenge myself and everyone else who wants to do something about this election's results to pick up your phone and text a friend who you know to have a different opinion than you and go to your favorite café and talk about it with the intention of hearing them(again this gives the added bonus of going and getting coffee).  This, I believe will accomplish broader understanding, and will give us tools to help all of the kids out there who are watching our behavior understand how to deal with opposition in a loving way.  Really, what better way to fight for what you believe than to understand others?   

I am going to be taking a break from facebook for awhile.  I’m still on messenger though.  I think I may start blogging again in the meantime.  So, let’s go get coffee!  #letsgogetcoffee 

–Author of the “Let’s Go Get Coffee” Manifesto